In your email you point out something very, very, VERY
interesting. You say:

"I've always considered myself a nice guy, considerate,
caring, etc. You know, how mother taught you to be.
I've realized that those qualities are great of course,
but don't help a lot in the dating scene."

Well said.

It is SO important that guys understand the distinction
between "dating scene" and "long-term relationship scene"
when it comes to women and interacting with them.

Many of the things that make a long-term relationship
great will KILL your chances INSTANTLY with a woman that
you don't know. I'll talk about this more in a moment.

I think that as guys, most of us want to do the right
thing, treat others well, and live with integrity.

There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but I
think that most of us know at a very deep level that
treating others well, being honest, having integrity,
and living an authentic life leads to happiness... while
being dishonest, treating others poorly, putting our
integrity aside for selfish reasons, etc. leads to that
constant, negative, dragging state of body and mind.

The problem arises when we go out into the world to
find a mate. It matters not whether we're looking for a
wife or a one-night stand...

As soon as we see a really attractive woman, most of
us guys become nervous, self conscious, and insecure. We
feel excitement and fear at the same time. The first
impulse is to approach and give compliments in a way
that says "You are a beautiful goddess, and I am a mere
mortal man... Please, if you would, see your way clear
to give me a chance to show you how much I adore you."

If the goddess indulges us for a moment, the next
impulse is usually to provide gifts and food, and to
show her what a great provider we are.