Let's see...

I don't think that if you're fat, have pimples like crazy
AND have hair all over your body that Cocky and Funny will
work.

Maybe if you JUST have hair all over and pimples, or pimples
and you're fat, OR EVEN hair all over and fat.

But all three? No, I don't think so.

Cocky and Funny is really intended for the slim, hairless,
and those of clear complexion.

What the hell kind of question is this?

If you're fat, pimply, and hairy, then I think you might
want to stop eating so much Pizza Hut, and maybe take a
shower or something. Maybe some Oxy for the zits, man.

"OK, OK, let's say that you're REALLY ugly... like worse
than the Pre-Cogs in Minority Report... And let's say that
you have a REALLY REALLY small weiner... And let's say
that you're a total dumb-ass...

WILL COCKY AND FUNNY STILL GET YOU A DATE WITH 47 PLAYBOY
PLAYMATES EVERY WEEK?"

If you wish for me to make fun of you further in front of
an audience of thousands, feel free to email again.