***QUESTION***


Kind Regards,

S

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh lord. I'm slapping my head right now... somebody stop me.

Someone needs to shake the Wuss out of you!

Wake up, and stop this immediately!

You need serious help before you hurt yourself. Go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

...before it's too late. And maybe read a couple of Wayne
Dyer books from the 70s so you can get control of those
emotions. You're freaking me out over here.


***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey dave you rock man i have been using your techniques
for about 6 months, and i can't believe how good it
works..Not only that but most of my friends want to know
what the hell i am doing to get all these girls, I have
actually picked up and slept with three different girls
this week , and if i had more free time it could have
been more like 4 or 5. There are 2 problems though that
i do find, when i have girls always hanging around me i
find that there are always guys that want to hang around
me too, and no word of a lie i have had guys buy me
drinks just to hang out with me, Maybe you should write
another book how to keep the pathetic males away from
the c$f technique, i'll never let the cat out of the bag
the best i can do for them is give them your website :)
2) The more girls i date the more confident i get which
means loooook out ladies...lolol :) seeeya dave keep up
the good work, also try to get a seminar in Toronto k


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well then, you're tearing it up out there.

Your techniques are working so well that even GUYS are
attracted to you. I don't know whether to kiss your or
tell you to tone it down.

Maybe neither.

Hi David,

I figured I'd give this a try since I'm running out of ideas.
About 3 months back I met a beautiful spanish girl from Miami
after spending 2 months of talking to her online. The night
before we met I really screwed up by getting in an argument
with her and telling her not to email me again. (Idiot I
know!) The next day I regretted it terribly but I got an
email back from her saying it was ok and she was happy, and
that God told her I wasn't the guy for her anyway. I felt
horrible. I ended up getting her to meet me the same day,
brought her a rose, and just walked around the mall and
talked with her. She was absolutely beautiful and I could
almost feel tears in my eyes because I wanted her so much
and yet it seemed there's nothing I can do. We spent about 3
hours just talking and then we departed because she had to
leave in a hurry to get home. We talked online again and I
managed to blurt out "Are you ever going to tell me why you
aren't interested in me?" and she responded by saying "lol
it's a long story. it's like I've known you all my life,
just not as a boyfriend." I know I tried to move too fast,
and I did make some mistakes. But now I feel it's hopeless.
She wants to be friends with me, but nothing more and I can't
see it turning into more. It's like in front of me is this
bag of a million dollars that I just want to take, have a
great time with and so forth..but I know the money isn't
mine and all I can do is stare at it, wishing it was mine.
I know it's stupid but just thinking how much I want her and
knowing I don't stand a chance almost makes my eyes misty. I
can't even meet her in person anymore because I keep
imagining her finding a boyfriend and then I'll have to
pretend I'm happy for when I know it would kill me. I just
want to forget about her but I can't.. I don't know what to
do, it's driving me crazy.. I've never wanted anyone in my
life so much, and it's the only girl that I want is the one
I can't have. Is there anything I can do? Is it time to give
up? How can I forget about the most beautiful woman I've
ever met in my life? Thank you for any help it is greatly
appreciated.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I sent my brother your tips and that same day he bought the
books. He was explaining to me how great your advice i.. He
went out the first weekend that he bought the books.... then
he is calling me at 4 am... he is in 7th Heaven expounding
how wonderful he feels and how great your advice is...and he
is overweight and not attractive at the moment. He has not
been this happy in over 5 years. Thanks for helping my
brother feel good about himself again.

My question is, .. I am in a serious relationship and want to
keep the energy alive. I have been pouring myself to this
woman and she loves me, but I know that I am into her more
than she is into me (just a little) and I want to turn that
around..... I am probably going to ease up a little and make
her beg for it ..... is that the right approach and can your
book help me too?

M on Oahu, Hawaii


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, I think that the materials can help keep relationships
healthy and interesting, even though I avoid giving
relationship advice or talking about the topic.

As I've said before, it's not that I don't like relationships
or don't think they're healthy...

I just happen to specialize in the stages before the
relationship, so that's what I talk about.

Thanks for your email, and I'm glad to hear that your
brother is getting this part of his life together.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

Ive been reading your emails and i have been applying
some of it and i have found that most of it works. That is
great and all but I really don’t like being cocky and funny
i just like being my sweet self. i like complementing left
and right. What i wanna know is why do women like it when a
guy is a little rude or just plain "full of himself". And
another thing. Why is it that when a woman starts complaining
about her man or what ever why is it that women Say they want
a sweet and sensitive guy who respects her feelings? But in
reality she doesn’t. It really doesn’t make a whole lot of
sense to me.

Laterz

DAL Florida


>>>MY COMMENTS:

With all due respect, please do all the women you're meeting
a couple of favors:

1) Stop "complimenting left and right".

2) Stop being "your sweet self".

...unless, of course, you look like Brad Pitt or have over
$10 million dollars. In these cases, do whatever you want.

For the first several interactions with a woman (through the
first 10 dates or so), DON'T ACT LIKE A WUSSY!

When you act like a wuss and give lots of compliments, you
are doing what 98% of all the other guys she's meeting
are doing. You're being average. You're boring. You're
coming across as fake and weak.

If you want to know why it is that women are attracted to
jerks, then read my book or come to my seminar in New York.

>>> This is the kind of reply that creates tension, electricity,
and ATTRACTION.

Now will you tell your Wussy boyfriend to stop letting you
read his email AND respond to it too? You're just upset
because I'm messing up your game... my answer here is probably
going to cost you thousands of dollars in food and drinks
this year alone.

Please don't be mad at me, I don't think me ego could stand it.


***QUESTION***

I owe a lot of my success to you. I try the cocky funny thing,
and it does work thank you for that. But I don’t like the
whole one night stand thing. I want to get a girl and do the
whole boyfriend thing. My question to you is HOW? I've met
my share of 7's and 8's, but they just aren't what I’m looking
for.

Thank you in advance.

J.B. CA


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, you're not alone. I believe that MOST men would prefer
to meet a great girl and have a fulfilling relationship. I
really do believe this.

In my estimation, 80%-90% of men are ultimately looking for
a fantastic woman to enjoy a relationship with.

One of the main reasons why I advocate learning how to be
successful with women and dating is IT'S NOT EASY TO FIND
A HAPPY, HIGH QUALITY, EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY WOMAN!

You usually have to meet a lot of women before you find a
woman that is a great match for you... a woman that you
don't feel like you're "settling" for.

In order to do that, you're going to have to have some real
SKILLS and understanding of how the dynamics of male/female
ATTRACTION works.

Stick with it, you're in a great place right now, and I'll
bet that you're going to meet someone that you like very
soon. But have fun while you're at it, because life is just
too short to run around feeling unsatisfied.

MY COMMENTS:

First of all, let's re-visit the original question and answer
that we're talking about... here it is again so we can review
before I make fun of you and your Wussy boyfriend:

*******ORIGINAL QUESTION AND ANSWER*********


***QUESTION***

I started to talk to this girl that i met when i went out
with one of my friends' brother. we went down town and hung
out. everything was going good and i got her # by the end of
the night. We hung out the next weekend and went to a club. we
got in the club and she asked for 6 dollars to by her a drink.
I asked her "what do i get out of it?" and there was the laugh
and then i decided to give her the money. after the club i took
her home with my friend and her friend. I asked her for a
Kiss goodbye she gave it to me. Then i told her that i was goin
to call her the next week because i knew of a party the
following week. After calling her next week i had trouble
getting a hold of her and she didn’t pick up her cell phone. It
has been about 2 weeks since i have talked to her. And the
weekend that she was suppose to hang out has just passed. Do u
see a problem in this or if i messed up some where?

thank you


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, as a matter of fact, I do see a problem.

What are you doing giving a woman six bucks for a drink?

You were SOOO right no target when you answered with "What do
I get out of it?" SHE LOVED IT!

But then you had to go and SCREW IT ALL UP by giving her the
money... ouch.

When she laughed you should have said "Well?"

And WHATEVER she answered with, you should have said:

"SORRY, not good enough... buy your own drink."

STOP TRYING TO BUY ATTENTION FROM WOMEN.

It makes you look like a WUSSY SCHMUCK BOY.

Oh, and will someone remind me to practice being more honest
and direct with people? I sometimes feel that I'm too shy
and don't want to hurt their feelings...

********END OF ORIGINAL QUESTION AND ANSWER**********


Now back to your comments and me making fun of you...

The advice I gave was RIGHT ON.

If a woman asks for money early on, then you need to either:

1) Cut her loose and run, hand on wallet, for the hills.

2) If you're feeling up to the challenge, then say something
very Cocky and Funny while refusing.

My advice was to follow up the question of "What do I get
out of it?" with "Sorry, not good enough... buy your own
drink", which is VERY funny when delivered with the correct
sarcastic tone.

It also raises the bar and says "What do you have me confused
for an ass-kissing loser who needs to buy your attention with
money? Here, let me fix that for you."

Dave,

When I first started reading your advice, I felt that they
were wildly off base. All my prior success had been as what
you would consider a "wuss". However, curiosity drove me to
try out your techniques and I found they increased my dating
considerably. I went from only occasional dates, to having
3-4 dates every weekend. However, I have two questions
which I have not found the answer to in your book.

1. How long should I keep up the cocky/funny attitude?
It's really unnatural for me, and I'm not sure when I should
drop it, and show a girl my true self.

2. I have a good friend who I've been friends with for a
while. I guess she would consider me a "girlfriend-man" I'd
always be the one with the sympathetic ear, listening to her
problems and such. Is it possible, after getting this deep
in the "friend-zone" to become more than friends with her?
I don't want to risk ruining a friendship, but I've very
interested in dating her. How do I do it?
Thanks,

S.S., Maine


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great questions. To answer your first question, WHY WOULD YOU
WANT TO STOP DOING WHAT'S WORKING? I realize that you may not
have been "naturally" Cocky and Funny before recently, but if
it's working so well, why would you want to change it?

I get a lot of questions about this topic, and I can really
understand the point. You'd rather be able to do what "comes
naturally" to you and be "yourself" around women.

But if you look at your second question, you'll find that you
actually spell out what happens when you just "be yourself".
You turn into "girlfriend-man". You become a "friend".

I don't think that's what you want.

But instead of thinking as Cocky and Funny as a process of
"not being yourself", instead think of it as "being
considerate of what a woman wants" and providing it. I
think that you can really learn to enjoy being Cocky and
Funny, and make it part of your personality.

To answer your second question, it's quite a task to turn
a girl "friend" into something more... but it definitely
can be done. I personally have better things to do with my
time, but if you're HELL BENT on doing it, then do this:

1) Stop talking to her so much.

2) Stop acting like a WUSS when you do talk to her.

3) Start busting on her more and being indifferent.

4) Tell her about how well you're doing with the ladies.

5) If she beings flirting back, then progress to The Kiss
Test and move things to a physical level.

You need to stop acting like a "girlfriend" and start
acting like a guy who makes women feel ATTRACTION at a
GUT level. But be careful, because if you screw this one
up, you'll probably lose her friendship as well.


***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

I am a girl. My boyfriend receives your newsletter. We came
across the advice you had given to the man about what he did
wrong with this girl by giving her six dollars for a drink
and she didn't answer or return her calls. I would think it
would be wiser to have a girl give advice seeing as how it is
advice on girls being given! The advice you gave him was not
only wrong, but it was bitchy. The joke he gave her was not
right. It was rude. I think you should find someone else to
give the advice on this site.

-J, OH

Then I say "Well, OK then… I like email better, but I'll
take your regular phone number. It's so damn hard to reach
people on the phone these days."

Just realize that all you have to do is ask.

Like I said, I've tried all kinds of things. And I've
gotten hundreds of phone numbers. And I use this exact
sequence every time I talk to a woman and I want to get her
phone number. I've gotten to the point where I can often do
this in a minute or two - no kidding!

Now that you know the sequence, write it down with the
words and the steps, and rehearse it in your mind over and
over until you know exactly what to say for each step and
each response.

Many guys have asked me "But what do I tell her as a
reason why I want her number or email?" I've never had a
woman ask me. If you ask, and they give it, then she knows
why you asked. If she doesn't give it to you, then she also
knew why you asked.

Just assume that this is the case.

If you ask every time, and you do it in a smooth,
assuming, calm way, you'll get a lot of emails and phone
numbers.

Note: Carry a pen on you at all times. I prefer the
Fisher Space Pen (chrome) because it's small, classy, and
women love it!

When you ask for email, it's very low risk for a woman,
so she'll think "Fine, I'll do that." Most women will give out
an email address without thinking about it, because they know
that they can choose later to just not answer.

The magic of asking them to write their phone number down
WHILE they're in the middle of writing down their email is
all about the psychology of human behavior.

She's already mentally said "OK, I'll give you my email
address"... and she's in the middle of writing it down. When
you say "And just write your number down there too" it's only
NATURAL to just write it.

In other words, it's a MUCH smaller step than giving out
the phone number all by itself. It took me a LONG time to
figure out this simple move, but it works like magic! You
will have women writing their phone numbers down without even
thinking twice.

Here's a great add-on to make sure you're getting a real
phone number and not a pager or voicemail:

As she's writing down her phone number I say "Is this a
number that you actually answer?" If she looks at me and
hesitates, or says that it's her "voicemail or pager number,"
then I say "Look, write your real number down. It's going to
be OK, I'll only call you nine times a day..." They laugh
and usually give me their real number.

Now, if she answers my first question and says "No, I
don't have email" then I bust on them and say "Well, do you
have electricity?" This is a GREAT opportunity to use humor.

The "HEY!" is a bit surprising, and "Do you have email"
is non-threatening. In fact, I'm technically asking her if
she HAS email, not if she'll GIVE IT TO ME.

If she says "yes," I take out a pen and paper and say
"Great, write it down for me" and I have her write it down.
(This is great, as I just treat the 'yes' that they
give me as a yes to get it from them as well. And they've
almost ALL gone along with it so far) Then AS SHE'S IN THE
MIDDLE OF WRITING, I say "Write your number down there too."

DATING TIP: HOW TO GET HER NUMBER FAST
"How To Get A Woman's Phone Number And Email Address Within
Three Minutes Of Meeting Her"


Let me start off by telling you something interesting:

I've personally stopped focusing on just getting phone
numbers. I've found that EMAIL addresses are far better (I
still get the phone number too, of course).

Let me explain.

I perfected the art of getting phone numbers a couple of
years ago.

If a woman is single, I can walk up to her and get her
number in about a minute or two (if I'm in a hurry). I found
out later, after working like a mad scientist on this that
GETTING PHONE NUMBERS ALONE DOESNT'T EQUAL SUCCESS.

You see, women have many different reasons for giving out
their phone numbers. Some love the attention of having a lot
of men call them. Some like to turn guys down. Some are
actually interested. But the universal feedback that I get
from men, and in my personal experience, women act different
on the phone than they do in person.

When you call a woman for the first time, she'll often
start acting stand offish or even worse, just plain rude. It's
almost like she's a different person than the one you met.

I've found that getting an EMAIL address is not only
easier, but it gets more positive responses later on. It's
almost as if women appreciate it that you've taken the time to
think about what you're going to say when you write an email
to them, and they think of you more like someone they know.

The other benefit of email is that it can be written and
answered anytime.

If you call, you have to actually reach them. But an email
can be answered anytime. And I've found that emails are
answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

HERE'S THE HOW TO:

After I've talked to a woman for about 3 or 4 minutes,
I'll often say something like "Well, it was nice meeting you.
I'm going to get back to my friends."

They usually don't know what to do, as they're used to guys
clinging to them. Most of the time, they say "It was nice
meeting you too..." Then, just as I'm turning to walk away,
and we kind of disconnect, I turn back and say "HEY! Do you
have email?"

Does this open up some new possibilities for you?

I invite you to question "common sense" and "what
your mother taught you" about women.

I further invite you to come learn some of the
VERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniques
that I've learned, developed, refined, and described
in my eBook "Double Your Dating". I've spent YEARS
thinking about this, working on it, and really getting
to the bottom of what makes women feel that magical
feeling called ATTRACTION.

Just go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

...now to download it. In my book I also explain in detail
how to overcome negative programming, how to improve your
self image, and the exact steps to go from where you are
to where you want to be with women.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Lump all of this together, and you have moms who
teach their sons the "proper" way to act and men who
have NO IDEA how to be successful with women.

Wow, I'm really going on an unusually intellectual
rant today! Nice. I feel pretty smart... I think I'll
keep it up...

So what's this information good for?

Well, to start off, I think that it's important in
life to continually question your beliefs about how
things work and what is possible.

I think it's also good to constantly question your
limiting beliefs.

Unfortunately, most people do the opposite... they
question their ability to succeed and they doubt their
own greatness. Most people constantly self-sabotage.

If instead you question your LIMITATIONS and your
LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look with your
own eyes to see if there's something going on that
nobody mentioned to you, then you'll begin to see
things that will blow your mind.

It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize that
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say it,
you can immediately get what I'm talking about, and
maybe even have a profound realization that will
lead to success.

Now, I didn't figure that out by having someone
TELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning the
things I was hearing, and by following my own intuition
that there was a solution to this puzzle called "women
and dating".

So here's an assignment for you:

1) Write down all of the things that SHOULD work when
it comes to making women feel attracted to you. This
might include buying gifts and food, giving constant
compliments, and acting "nice".

2) Write down your own personal experience of what
ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these "socially correct
things that mom taught you" with women.

3) Pretend for a moment that everything you've been
taught about women is wrong. Further, pretend that
women are actually wired in REVERSE. If this were
true, what kinds of things would result in a woman
feeling ATTRACTION for a man?

But this doesn't mean that she can or would explain
to her boy how to make this happen with other women!

Now let's talk about what we can actually LEARN from
this kind of phenomenon.

The thing that really fascinates me about people is
THEIR ABILITY TO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN PLAIN
SIGHT ALL AROUND THEM, AND EVEN ARGUE VIOLENTLY WHEN
IT'S PRESENTED TO THEM.

I've read some fascinating books about the concept
of "self-deception", and I've come to realize that we
humans have an amazing capacity for not seeing what's
there... to the point where it can be very bad for us.

This mechanism is, of course, a survival mechanism
that helps us to weed out all of the useless information
that's coming in through our senses at any given time,
but it can go overboard, and prevent us from seeing
USEFUL information as well.

Even worse, a lot of our cultural and social
programming is off-base to some degree, which causes
us to see things and interpret them incorrectly when
we do see them.

Finally, humans don't like to change their beliefs
about things. They don't like to admit that they might
be wrong in the first place, and they feel unstable or
insecure when they realize that a fundamental truth
they have held all their life is incorrect.

Of course... how to be "nice" to girls.

The bottom line is that most of the people walking
around on this planet have NO IDEA how ATTRACTION works,
and therefore will never be able to TEACH another person
how this fabulous process works.

This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted the
best for you, she just had no idea how to explain what
makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may have gotten the
tingles when she saw Clint Eastwood shooting everyone
and Neil Diamond running around with his sneer, hairy
chest that sock in his jeans... (and that reminds me...
EWWWWWW... your mom is gross, dude)...

This is a VERY

interesting question, and I'm glad you
emailed to ask it.

I'm going to give you my personal take on this, but
more importantly I'm going to talk about how these kinds
of paradoxes exist right in plain sight all around us...
and how to interpret them so you can increase your own
personal success with women and dating.

So to answer your question first...

I've spent a lot of time researching this topic, and
doing a lot of personal testing to see if I could find
some answers.

Right now, today, on July 13th of 2002 I think that
it goes like this:

"Being Nice" in the way that you're describing, which
I'm going to say encompasses things like giving
compliments, buying gifts, providing food, doing favors,
tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to be in a
good mood even if you're not, etc. is mostly a SOCIALLY/
CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of rules.

In addition, these are typically very FEMININE things
to do...

So what's a mom in today's culture to teach her son?

Dave,

Why is it that a woman who is only interested in the funny,
cocky and challenging (i.e., interesting) men, later in
life tries to raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and
"nice"? (i.e., run of the mill)!!

WS
New York

Notice how you might be doing things at different steps
that are trying to sell too far in advance. For instance,
you might realize that you always get too deep into
family and relationship talk with women before you even
kiss them.

Think about how you're going to ONLY GET TO THE VERY
NEXT STEP in your particular situation... and then plan
exactly how you're going to do it in the future.

In the booklet you'll get some great ideas for how
to transition from one step to the next, so use them.

Read it, then go back and do the homework. This one
piece of the puzzle will make a big difference.

Talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.