Dave,

I was first a bit reluctant to use your cocky+funny
attitude to attract girls...guys this is perfectly normal
but GET OVER IT!!! THEY LOVE IT!!! And, I'm becoming more
and more aware of it every time I try it.

Now, I had to travel across town today for a summer school
class and while waiting at one of our many long stoplights,
a cute blonde pulled up next to me. As usual, I checked her
out and noticed that she had 5 or 6 pairs of yellow, green,
purple, and pink sunglasses hanging from her mirror. I
yelled at her, "Hey, I like your glasses!!". "Thanks", she
said, "I really...". I then cut her off in mid-sentence and
said, "Yeah, I think my bratty 6-year old sister has a pair
just like those!" Using Dave's Cocky+Funny attitude DID
catch her off-guard but she laughed a good bit. After a bit
of small talk, I asked her for her number and out to lunch.
Now, I have a date next week! THANKS DAVE!!!

Thanks,

D.F. in Indiana

Dave,

Thanks for all of the advice. I recently went to Australia
and constantly used your advice. Even on the plane ride
over. I was blessed to be sitting next to a hottie on a 14
hour flight across the Pacific. We started talking and
hitting it off. Lots of chemistry. She pulls out her
scrapbook and I tease her about everything. I come across
some pictures and she keeps looking hotter and hotter and I
keep teasing her about her looks, saying that she must not
travel well, becuase that cannot be her. Then I come across
her in a lepoard bikini. Im thinking, THANK YOU GOD. On the
other page she has word association games and her comment
is P- Bootylicious. So I look at her ass and say, " Im not
so sure about that... youll have to prove something like
that." So she turns her back to me and pulls her pants out
and says "NO look. " My response was, " well, I just dont
know if I have a good angle to make that kind of judgement.
" You know coach seats and all. So the flight just progress
from there. It was like a 10 hour lap dance. I got her
email... of course and home cell. We actually emailed all
over Austrailia except I was going one way and she was
going the other. We actually almost met in one city... She
lives about three hours away from me and will be coming
home in about two weeks. Dave... I need a magic line to
get her to come up and visit me when she gets back! I've
been C/F in all of the emails and she has responded for
the last month, but any suggestions for a winner proposal.

M.

San Francisco


>>>MY COMMENTS:

What are you talking about?!

You need a magic line when you had this hot girl doing
lap dances on a commercial flight for you?

OK, OK, why don't you tell her that you have a BIG
surprise for her, and she needs to come up your way
so you can show it to her.

Then show her the Golden Gate...

...or something.

I and every other man who's been on a long flight seated
between two overweight women with bad breath hate you.

***SUCCESS***

Dave,

Oh my God, I'm gushing...Dave you da man. I showed up at one
of the local bars tonight armed with your info and voila, I
wasn't really trying and still got the phone numbers of two
of the hottest babes, including a girl I've been eyeing for
about a year. MAYBE I'll call her, then again, there's so
many women and so little time. ;-)

Cheers,

I.

MY COMMENTS:

One of the most amazing things you can do when a woman brings
up the topic of sex is to tease her about it, ask her why
she's bringing it up, and accuse her of having a dirty mind,
etc. It's great!

You must realize that this is one of the very best ways to
tease an attractive woman. They usually love it.

Attractive women often bring up the topic of sex to see if
you're comfortable... or to test you to find out if you'll
get nervous or insecure.

The best thing to do in these situations is accuse her of
trying to get sexual too fast, tell her you're not interested,
and bust on her. It's all kinds of good fun. And the added
benefit is that it makes her more and more curious about you
and why you don't seem like all the other losers who roll
over and act stupid.

hey david.

In your last news letter u talked about reverse psychology.
A couple of days ago (before i got this email on reverse
psychology) i was talking to a friend of mine online (a girl)
and ive liked her for a while. (shes somewhat of a player
and shes REALLY HOT!!!) when i was talkin to her we got into
a conversation about sex. as we were talkin i told her that
i didnt want to do it w/ her (but i did) and she said y not,
and i said because. she kept on asking me why not, and i just
said because. so she gave up and quit asking me. so then we
went on w/ our conversation, and a little while later just
right out of the blue she said we'll probably have sex some
time in the future. i said "ha maybe", and left it at that.
we havent done it yet but we do talk about it (just havent
found the time yet) but i plan on doin it soon. so my point
is, the reverse psychology thing really works. and to all u
guys who think david dosnt know what hes talkin about, your
wrong he know exactly what hes talkin about. buy his book!!!

J from IN

MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I admire the hell out of you, because you did
SOMETHING instead of NOTHING. Nice.

Now, as for what to do in a situation like that one...

I have a friend that does something interesting. He'll call
the waiter over, and say "Can you deliver this napkin to
that girl over there? But don't tell her who it's from." Then,
he'll draw a tic tac toe game, and put an X in one of the
squares. (Always tip the waiter a dollar!)

The napkin almost always comes back, and the game is on...

It's fun, mysterious, and the girl always wants to know
who's playing with her.

I've used this before, and it's great fun.

At some point, depending on whether you're winning or losing,
you can come over to her table and say something like "Well,
I had to meet my worthy opponent" or "I hope you talk better
than you play" etc.

Also, if a woman gets up and is about to leave, that's a
GREAT time to go get her info!!!

Just walk up and say "Hi, I was going to come talk to you
earlier but I got busy... what's your name? Do you have
email?" Easy. And it's so natural to ask, since she's
obviously on her way out...

Hi,

I'll try to keep this short. First of all, your book is
great. Great tips, great guidelines. Second, as a proof
of success, a few nights ago I went out with some friends,
and tried something new, based on your guidelines. I saw
this hot girl at the bar, asking for a drink. And instead
of complimenting her on her great physical looks, I said
hi to her and told her I liked how her unusual belt looked
on her. That's it. And then turned around and walked away.
I didn't even let her talk. Ten seconds later she comes
to where I was with a friend and said to me "the good
thing is that it keeps my pants in their place", and
everything worked from there. We began to talk, etc.
I would have never done that before. I gave it a try, and
the outcome was good. That same night I stayed away from
the usual "you are pretty, blah, blah" and focused on
other things, trying to start a conversation in a C&F way,
and it works better than the usual stuff. I met about 4
girls that night. Got the hot girl's email address.

I also wanted to ask you for advice on something. After
that night's success, last night I went out to a dance
club and this is the scenario. Crowded place, loud music,
pretty girl seated in a table with other friends (guys and
girls). Can't quite assure if good eye contact is being
made because of the club lights. Let's assume there is. I
did notice she looked at me about 3 times. She never leaves
the table, she is seated between her friends (hard to
approach her). I didn't know what to do in order to have
her leave the table to try some talking. This is a major
problem. You can't just go there and approach her in front
of all her friends (can I?) I had to do something! I waited
over an hour to see if she moved, but she didn't. So I
decided to write a message on a napkin and have the waiter
give it to her. I thought this at least would define is she
was interested or not, and then move on to other target if
she wasn't. I wrote something like this: "Since I haven't
been able to run into you apart from your table, I decided
to send you this note..." and then complimented her on a
prop she had, etc, (C&F) I thought that if she was
interested she then would move to the bar, or somewhere
else where we could meet and talk. A few minutes before I
was going to send her the note, she and one of her
girlfriends stepped away from the table. While I was
watching where she was going to stop (I try not to hit on
a girl while she is moving), I realized she was leaving the
place. I thought she might come back because she didn't say
goodbye to her other friends. She never came back. She left
with a girl, but she isn't lesbian or bi either (I know who
she is). So at the end of the night (2 hours later) I
approached one of her girlfriends and asked her to give
the note to the girl (I wrote down my email). I told her I
was going to talk to her and give her the note personally,
but she had left and I couldn't do it. Her friend asked me
"so this message is from who?", I said "the guy with the
black shirt, necklace with a shark tooth, from the table
next to yours". I don't even know if she will remember, or
if she noticed because of the "unconfirmed" eye contact.
I need feedback on this, man. How do you approach a girl
in a scenario like this? What would you have done? I think
what I did is wrong, giving the note to her friend, but what
the hell. We all have to make mistakes to improve on this,
right? Thanks!! Keep up the good work. Waiting for Episode
II of Double your Dating.

R.M. from Miami

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The book that I always recommend is called "Comedy Writing
Secrets" by Helitzer. It's such a great book, and it has
a bunch of great exercises inside to help you increase
your humor skills. As you're working on it, just think
COCKY and Funny.

I personally developed a lot of my Cocky and Funny skills
by chatting online over instant messenger services with
women. When you use one of these IM programs, it gives you
a chance to think of great things to say, because the
conversation is about 1/5th the speed of normal
conversation. It's great practice, and you can write down
different lines to try, then get online and use them...
with real women, even!

Great job, and keep it up.

David,

I was in a VERY noisy club the other night in Cabo San
Lucas (I'm on vacation) and spotted this babe dancing
alone away from the crowd. I approached her with your,
"Hi! I noticed you over here and thought I'd take a sec
to find out what you might be like... are you friendly?"
with a cocky sort of smile. She warmed up instantly and
conversation flowed into an eventual makeout session
there in the club. It was the first of three successes
I've had in one week... more than I typically had in 6
months before reading your book... so Muchos Gracias!

However, I want to get REALLY good at the Cocky & Funny
(C&F) thing and hone that skill so I come across that
way in ALL of my interactions with women (not just when
I happen to be "on"). Can you recommend some
drills/exercises or some kind of action plan to RAPIDLY
hone this skill in the next couple months? How did you
develop it?

Thanks,

E.

MY COMMENTS:

Well, if I were you, I think I'd sit down and make a list
of all the kinds of conversations that you could possibly
get into with these women, then create Cocky and Funny
lines for each. Finally, come up with some great ways to
get emails and numbers.

You might say:

"Where did you find time to have all these children?"

...or some other line hinting that these are her own
children.

***QUESTION***

Well I got a question here. I have a great resource to
meet women, but I am unsure on how to go about milking it.

I work at a children's museum. Occasionally a group of
some kind would come in, kids camp, YMCA, etc. Well usually
with these groups there are quite a few women my age. They
are usually supervising the children they bring in.

Last time a group came in some women made a point to kino.
Some would brush against me when they walked passed me
even when there was a lot of room on either side of me. Or
if I was in the way they would touch my back rather than
say something. This happens more than often to be a
coincidence.

I have no idea how I should milk this resource. I am
friggin stumped.

As for the gift idea...

Women typically love SURPRISES and THOUGHTFUL expressions
of your feelings. As you know, I don't like to comment on
the relationship stages, but if you want to make her see
you as different from other guys, plan a few thoughtful
surprises for her. Think about experiences that she's
always wanted to have, or things she really likes, then
combine together to create a time she won't forget.

It doesn't take money to do this, and it's actually
better if you DON'T spend a lot.

Remember, what I'm talking about here is to be used when
you know a woman and have been dating her for at least
a little while. This is the kind of thing that has the
word "relationship" all over it, and you don't want to
do things like this too soon, or you run the risk of
coming across the wrong way.

[As a side note: I want to re-affirm that even though I
choose not to comment on the "relationship" stage very
often, that doesn't mean that I don't like relationships or
have a problem with the idea. I think that a great
relationship with a great woman can be one of the best
experiences in life... But I also think that to attract a
really amazing woman you need to know what you're doing.
And that's what I focus on: How to be more successful with
women and DATING - not women and RELATIONSHIPS.]

MY COMMENTS:

Wow, great job.

It's not often that an attractive woman will actually TELL
you explicitly that she's testing you. You have a gal
there that is unusually open.

I included your email because it's a great example of how
women test men. Most guys FAIL MISERABLY when tested, and
they lose the girl in the process. It's sad, but true.

When a woman tests a man, it's like a blind psychological
experiment. She's doing the testing, but she knows that
she can't TELL you what's going on, because then you'll
know it's a test and not respond authentically.

How else could she find out the TRUE nature of your
character? How else could she find out if you're actually
a strong-willed man with inner power, or just another
actor playing pretend in order to conceal the INNER WUSS?

Think about it.

***QUESTION***

I just wanted to let you know you information is the best
material I ever decided to invest in. I know you told
people that you have tried everything and these techniques
work best, so let me make a comment to any of the skeptics
out there. I have personally invested money in material
which discussed being touchy feely and complementing women
as many times as you can on a first date while making lots
of cheesy smiles to show attraction. I've also purchased
book & tape packages which told me to touch women in
various places while in clubs talking to them, to get them
aroused (I am surprised I didn't get a drink thrown in my
face!), I memorized paragraphs (literally) of things to say
when out with women(once a women told me I seemed false)
and NONE of these get the reaction I get from using the
material in your book. Oddly enough....the only reason I
didn't want to get the double your dating material in the
beginning is because it wasn't as expensive as the other
BS material I wasted so much money on, so I figured it
can't be as good. I am in grad school right now and I
realized after reading your newsletters(which had questions
from the rich to average) that making good money was not
going to give me success with women, and besides I don't
want anyone putting me in the long-term lover withhold sex
category explained in your book anyway.

Since I have been using your techniques I have been seeing
a women that is very attractive and used to date a pro
athlete. She just told me recently (without me asking of
course) that the reason she felt so attracted to me was my
care free, take no crap off her attitude I developed from
your book. She tried to throw a tantrum when we were
leaving a club wanting me to chase her, so I laughed and
told her "when you think you can control your alcohol
maybe you can regain your privileges of talking to me
again!" then I walked off grinning (love it!). She
explained to me later that she was putting me through a
series of test and I was doing things that other guys just
didn't do (by the way....she called ME first thing the next
morning to apologize.) She told me the others just kiss
her ass and try to make her happy. Now I just reread your
book so I remember not to become one of them.

This brings me to my question. I know you don't specialize
in the long term stuff but I would like your opinion. Her
birthday is coming up and I wanted to know what would be
something special I can do without over doing it. Fathers
day just passed (I have a daughter not from her)and she got
me a designer shirt, so I don't want to do anything lame
either. Can you help me.

Thanks,
N.
Texas

QUESTION

Hey Dave, I was just curious, i'm an average man who tells
jokes like crazy to girls, I make tons of people laugh and
friends with everyone. I can talk to a girl in a second but
some are harder then others, How do you get real secrets out
of them, and know what some deep things are about em. So I am
asking when I go up and make fun of them teasing and being
cocky, what are some more things I should say to get the
conversation rolling and want them to talk to me even more.
If I get a conversation its easy to tell a little joke here
and there.so what are some easy ways to just to get an very
high interesting topic to talk to them about?

Thanks......... D


>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, why do you want to know "deep" things about
a girl you've just met? And why do you want to get "real
secrets" about her?

Read my last comments above... just get the info!

You can follow up later, and if you want to know "secrets"
and "deep things", you can work on that later.

By the way, secrets and deep things are best not discussed
early on, unless you're trying to get into a relationship
in 5 minutes.

OK,

sounds like you have two different issues that you're
dealing with:

1) To dance or not to dance.

2) The noise and crowds of nightclubs.

Interestingly, my perspective is that the answer to both
questions is basically the same...

There are some guys that like to go out to nightclubs to
pick up women to take home THAT NIGHT.

Now, most of the guys I know who go out with this objective
don't actually wind up "bringing home babes" as often as
they'd like. In other words, unless this your sole objective,
and you're an ABSOLUTE PRO, then you might start thinking
about this situation differently.

When I go out to a club with the idea of meeting women, my
main objective to get emails and phone numbers. That's it.

You can start a quick interchange with a woman, get her
email and number, and be done with the whole thing in about
3 or 5 minutes. You can do this all night and wind up with
information from 5 or more women each night you go out.

The interesting thing is that you don't actually have to
even use Cocky and Funny very much if this is your plan.
You can save it for get-togethers over tea, or phone
conversations.

Of course, if you can use your Cocky and Funny attitude,
all the better. But if you're dealing with noise and
crowds, where you may not even be heard, just get the
info!

And as for dancing, if you're getting her info in the
first few minutes, then you won't have to dance, buy her
a drink, or get into a long conversation that you can't
understand. Getting emails and numbers quickly is usually
the best way to go in these situations.

Dear David

First of all, although you've probably heard it a million
times - thanks for your work. It's really great stuff. I
have a question for you: Why is it that women like dancing
in night clubs, and many men don't? Is it important that a
guy should be able to dance even if lets say I don't like
dancing. How can one practice C+F attitude (which I love and
I know works) if everyone has had a lot to drink and it's so
damn noisy & crowded & it's impossible to have a conversation
with a woman? Also is it true that if you are able to dance
well, that women will be attracted to you?

I myself hate dancing, but every attractive woman I have
dated loved dancing, some of them I think even dancing
provocatively to make me jealous. The strange thing is that I
have also noticed my mates that can dance don't particularly
get anymore success with women in night clubs than I do. My
female friends tell me that I must learn to dance, but for
what as I don't enjoy it and my mate's that do don't get
lucky.

So please can you explain what it is about dancing that women
like, and is it worth becoming a good and confident dancer in
order to get more dates with women and succeed once on those
dates.

Thanks in advance.

A.

A British fan

GETTING PAST INSECURITY

So how do you go about getting past insecurity?

Great questions... and I have an exercise for you to use:

1) Go out and talk to 100 women over the next 30 days, and
keep a record of everything that happens. Talk to 3 new
women every day for 30 days.

2) DON'T make any attempts to pursue these women in a
romantic way. In fact, make sure you approach each situation
with the idea that you are NOT going to have any
interactions with the woman ever again.

3) Your only objective when talking to one of these 100
women is to MAKE THEM SMILE. A good friend of mine who goes
by the nickname of "Orion" taught me this. Your goal is to
give each woman the gift of a smile.

4) After making 100 women smile WITHOUT THE POSSIBLITY THAT
ANYTHING ELSE CAN COME IF IT, you will begin to realize that
you DO have something to offer a woman who doesn't know you,
and you'll see evidence that you can give it to her.

5) Keep a journal of all 100 interactions, so you can see
your progress.

ABOUT CONFIDENCE

If you want to go to the extra effort to cultivate actual
CONFIDENCE, then you need to realize something: Confidence
isn't a THING, it's a SKILL and a complex emotional/physical
state that can be learned, which can then be transferred into
an unconscious state and state of mind.

But there is another side to things...

WATCH OUT with confidence, because humans that become
confident often become intoxicated with their new-found
power, and they over-use or even abuse it. Overconfidence
leads to real arrogance... and to the dark side. So if
you're going to learn how to be confident, learn how to do
it in a way that respects other people, not in a way that
turns them into objects for you to manipulate.

As you learn these skills, don't get addicted to your own
power and let it turn you into a manipulator.

Well, after working on this for a long time, I have come
to the following NEW realizations:

1) The opposite of fear isn't confidence. The opposite of
fear is absence of fear.

2) Confidence can help, but it isn't the only answer to this
particular issue.

3) The MAJOR issue is insecurity. Once a person can get past
their insecurity, they are more free to develop and succeed.

4) The only power a woman has over you is that which you
give her - either on a conscious level or on an unconscious
level.

5) If you have issues with fear, nervousness, insecurity,
etc., it's a good idea to put aside your tough, manly,
"I don't need any help" side, and go find a solution.

In other words, instead of trying to get this "thing"
called confidence, I started working on eliminating my
personal insecurities.

I began to realize that the reason I was getting
nervous was because at an unconscious level, I was
PERCEIVING that:

-She has the power, I have no power.
-She has what I want, I have nothing she wants.
-She is attractive, I am average.
-I want her, she doesn't even know who I am.
-I will be interrupting her if I start talking.
-I don't deserve a woman like that.


It was all about insecurity, uncertainty, seeing myself
as less than her, and thinking that as an attractive woman
she has no reason to be interested in me.

In my mind, I was always trying to think of some kind
of unique, original thing to say so I would IMPRESS her...
and she could see me as the interesting, creative guy that
I imagined she wanted.

And to confuse matters further, we get messages like "Be
more confident" all the time - as if this thing called
"confidence" is the solution to fear (and in this case,
fear of women).

I dealt with this issue personally for several years.

If I was out and saw a woman that I wanted to meet, I
would get instantly nervous and fearful. I had no idea what
to say or do, and it would LOCK ME UP.

I decided that the problem I was dealing with was my "low
confidence", so I set to work to gain more.

I assumed that if I could get more confidence in myself,
that my fear and nervousness would go away, and I would be
able to just walk up and start conversations without any
problem at all.

After reading several books on the topic, and trying all
kinds of things to raise my confidence level, I WAS STILL
HAVING THE PROBLEM.

Around this same time, I was getting to know a lot of
guys who were successful with women. I found something
VERY interesting: Many of the guys who are good with women
still get nervous when they approach them! They have just
learned how to manage that little biological nervousness
and get on with what they want to do in the situation.

This was a major revelation to me.

Just realizing this allowed me to think from a new
perspective. It also made it "all right" for me to go and
approach women, even though I was still getting nervous.

And, by approaching a lot of women, I became very
familiar with the situations, which led to my nervousness
getting less and less...

All of these things led me to a personal realization:

FOR ME, IT WASN'T ABOUT GETTING MORE CONFIDENCE, IT WAS
ABOUT REDUCING MY INSECURITY.

Neúnavná ženská

Ženská touží po chlapovi a tak si dá do novin inzerát:
"HLEDťM CHLAPA, CO HODN‰ VYDRŽ‹." Druhý den za ni příde pořádný svalovec.
Vydrží s ní souložit den a půl a pak odpadne. Ženská je zklamaní ale
naštěstí příde další zájemce. Ten to vydrží tři dny a pak taky odpadne.
Ženská propadá depresím, když tu příde naštěstí třetí adept. Je jím
devadesátiletý stařík. Ženě se to sice moc nezdá, ale pak ho zatáhne do
postele. Po týdnu nepřetržitého souložení stařík říká:
- "No, paní, a teď mě týden neuvidíte !"
Ženská si oddechne, protoze už toho má taky dost a zeptá se:
- "Vy někam jedete ?"
Stařík odvětí:
- "Nikam nejedu, ale teď vás budu týden flákat zezadu."

To me, "Fear Of Women" is a particularly interesting
challenge to me. It's interesting for a few reasons:

1) As men, we're expected to overcome fear, slay dragons,
and generally act tough in the face of those things that
cause us to fear.

2) Men like to act "tough". They don't like to admit that
they need help. Us guys want to do it ourselves. We see
needing help as a sign of weakness, which we think is BAD.

3) When you combine these two things, you get a man who is
afraid of something that he LOGICALLY shouldn't be afraid
of (it doesn't make sense to fear a woman), but who is
unwilling to admit that he has the fear - which leads to a
state of "quiet desperation". It's a trap, and there's no
way out.